


Obito's Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Days

by whomivemisunderstood



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, I just wrote this to cope, Internal Monologue, No Uchiha Massacre, POV Hatake Kakashi, POV Uchiha Obito, Uchiha Obito has ADD, Uchiha Obito-centric, Verbal Abuse, a little bit, after finally signing up for an account, and now im publishing it, i sort of know where i want this to go, ill add as i go i guess?, its implied sort of, like a lot of em, minato just thinks obito's kinda funny looking, nohara rin is cool, oh but theres, queer/ace/aro/just fuckin confused obito, some motifs are repeated ig its sort of poetic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29369949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whomivemisunderstood/pseuds/whomivemisunderstood
Summary: Obito has a grand total of two friends, one teacher, the Uchiha Dogs, two sort-of parents and one kickass grandmother in his life. He's sort of emotional. He's sort of not. Whatever.And then he starts to grow up, meets a raging alcoholic (if he's ever seen one), and gains another teacher. There's a conspiracy brewing, and politics are getting even more complicated - and really, why can't Obito just hold himself back and avoid everything?Alternatively, Uchiha Obito isn't an orphan. It changes some things - meaning a lot of things. I'm going to completely ignore the Kaguya-zetsu thing, there's a bit less death, Obito is pessimistic and confused and everyone monologues a lot.(also ive taken a lot of liberties with different characters. and Kaka-obi-rin are best friends your honor)
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin, Hatake Kakashi & Nohara Rin & Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Obito, Namikaze Minato & Team Minato, Namikaze Minato & Uchiha Obito, Nohara Rin & Uchiha Obito
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Character Interlude - Uchiha Obito

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in a haze after a 2 hour long music class and with my track record, i'll have to celebrate if i can even get this thing past 10 chapters without dropping it like its on fire. cheers to that. no alcohol though, that shit tastes like spicy soap.

When Uchiha Obito is first born, a series of events happen: His mother names him something according to her own interest without consideration of him or his father, his father avoids him until it’s time to reap the attention of having a cute new kid, and he really,  _ really _ wants to cry. And he does. 

All four of these things set a guideline for most of his childhood, he’ll realize later on, along with the fact that they also act as the fundamentals of what he doesn't like about him (and all things surrounding him): His mom is a control-freak who doesn’t even seem to realize it, his dad is a wet towel (except for when then attitude would actually help resolve a situation), he feels emotions that he really doesn’t like, and he acts on them with little to no control over it (while watching it come towards him from miles away, having no idea how to stop it, but knowing he  _ should _ ). 

When Obito turned 5, his parents started to sign him up for tutoring-type classes. He still isn’t sure to this day if this is because his mother feels like she has something to prove to her siblings and fellow clansmen, or if it’s because they still want to justify her marrying out-of-clan and a civilian ( _ I promise our child will be a prodigy, and then he will make the Uchiha proud! He won’t take after his father, he’s no civilian…).  _

So, when Obito is 6, he meets Rin, in a ninjutsu-basics camp with a cheesy name and even cheesier lesson plans. Rin is kind, and sweet, and sympathetic, and actually points out the good thing about being Uchiha -  _ Obi-kun, you taught me the water-walking trick! You’re amazing and hardworking, and even if the Uchiha don’t want you for some reason, you can still have their super cool dojutsu! If you become really strong, and they see your eyes, they’ll be proud no matter what they say now! _ It would make him feel better, if it weren’t for the fact that Grandma had already told him about the downsides of the sharingan (and later on, its downright disaster of an “upgrade”, the mangekyo). He likes Rin regardless, though, even if he’s surprised that Rin likes him too rather than it being a one-sided admiration/friendship thing.

Obito is 7 when he first actively interacts with “official” Uchiha clansmen. There’s “Ehtachi” (whom he later realizes is named  _ Itachi _ , and that Uchiha stick-up-my-ass-and-super-ignorant-but-with-misplaced-good-intentions Fugaku has a sort-of accent that’s probably more like a lisp formed by his incapability to lift his mouth out of a frown), who’s just a little baby, carried by Mikoto, who stands behind Fugaku(-sama, but he doesn’t really give enough shits to ever call him that unless he needs to because it’s out loud. Obito likes to think that he had said the equivalent of “No <3” when his mom demanded him to call Fugaku “-sama” for the first time.), with another 2 Uchiha guards that seemed kind of redundant at best and downright wasteful at worst. Uchiha Fugaku tries his best to not look condescending, but he does anyway. Uchiha Mikoto is actually fairly sweet - his Grandma points this out, saying, “Ah, Mikoto-san, how had such a sweet and clever kunoichi such as yourself been saddled with old Fugaku-kun? Honestly, who made that arrangement? Between you and me, Mikoto-san, it’s a waste!” and apparently, this is OK because Grandma is “pure Uchiha”. Obito is fine with not being “pure”, because he cleanly dodges being referred to the way one would refer to the breed-ancestry of a dog. The Uchiha clansmen say that, since he’s only half Uchiha, and being raised civilian, it is unlikely he will ever awaken his sharingan. Those chances are made even more unlikely by the fact that not all Uchiha awaken the sharingan, even amongst the “pure” ones. Obito didn’t really want it much in the first place, though Rin seems to think he’s sad about it. In actuality, Obito is trying to think if it’s possible for him to awaken his sharingan, because his opinion on getting it just went from neutral to positive - Obito wants to awaken his sharingan out of spite for these people who essentially said “As long as you don’t have proof you’re Uchiha, you are not any of our concern.”

Apparently, Obito is in fact, a creature of spite; because when Obito is 8, only 5 months after “Obi’s Fated Encounter with the Uchiha Dogs” in early January, the days have grown much longer and pleasant summer warmth starts to curl into and ruffle his hair, and he starts the cycle that causes him to first awaken his sharingan.

Obito repents the sadness that fills Rin’s eyes everytime they talk about his recurring problem, that wasn't even too bad. He wishes he had never chosen to tell Rin, even if that would’ve probably ended even worse. He’ll be thankful for confronting that particular problem sooner rather than later, but he's allowed to be irrational, what with how  _ stupid  _ of a reason he awakened the weird eyes.

It happens like this: Obito meets Kakashi's father.

Which seems innocent enough, until you realize this means Obito's mother meets Kakashi. Kakashi, a super-genius clan-kid. At the time, he foolishly thinks the meeting went alright. They walk home, and things go to shit, the way most things in Obito's life go to shit: individually, each thing isn't too bad. Except together, it is.

Obito's mother starts yelling at him. This is the start of many, many arguments, and a lot of yelling, to come. Obito will continue to only listen and cry for the first few years of this, but the first time it happens, he realizes with such a clarity that this isn't a one time thing, that he cries, and stands there, and feels terrible. It goes like that a few more times, with mounting amounts of pressure and hate (that honestly, he can still only feel for himself, but saying he hates his parents is easier), and eventually on the 19th (or 24th, 37th, or maybe 43rd?) time it happens, his mom says she wishes he were dead. 

Obito says that he wishes  _ hard for that too. _

So, his mother, in a fit of rage and with  _ none of the adult control she claims to have, that makes her "better than civilians", "better than dad", (and better than him) -  _ she tells him she'll make it happen. In hindsight, Obito's heard so much of his mother spewing bullshit now, that he would've thought that that was letting him off easy. In the moment, he stands, processes, and cries. Obito finds Rin, looking the most hysterical she still has ever seen him, saying, "I think my mom is going to kill me."

Silence. And then:

"Oh kami. I-  _ Obito, _ come inside."

He does. Even then, he gets over the breakdown and stops crying within the 5 minutes it takes him to sneak out of his house and use every ninja technique hammered into his brain to get to Rin's house. He also, apparently has always had the aftermath of his breakdowns: a feeling of vulnerability that was oh-so flammable, and all you had to do was provide the tiniest amount of friction, and he would just self-destruct again. Even this aftermath time clears way too quickly every time. Obito isn't even sure if he had a breakdown.

Maybe using "breakdown" as an umbrella term for what he  _ still _ doesn't really understand is a bad idea.

But when it's finally over, and he finally looks at Rin properly, Rin freezes. Her face bursts into a smile, probably despite herself.

"Obi, your eyes! The sharingan-"

Rin cuts herself off. She probably realizes this isn't the right time to be talking about this, but Obito grasps what she means, and clings to it, because  _ don't I deserve to be irrational and irresponsible? Don't I deserve to choose to run and turn away from my problems, like the child I still am?  _ So instead of properly talking over everything, Rin indulges him and they discuss his newly gained sharingan instead. He wonders if she could tell he needed to just  _ talk. _ Probably. Rin has always been the best, like that.

So, when Obito is 8, in mid September, when subtle cold mixes with warmth and mourns the loss of heat by howling at his ears, he sees everything, with a clarity of which he'll never be able to forget, even as his sight will inevitably diminish over time. His mother is proud. (Or maybe more accurately, she thinks she deserves this for how much he disappoints in every other aspect.) She signs him up for so many classes, that some of them actually overlap with Kakashi's. She says the academy doesn't teach him enough, anyway. 

Obito starts to study with Kakashi, and introduces Rin to him, because he thinks she deserves an actual genius-friend. Funnily enough, she doesn't immediately fall in love with Kakashi, or whatever he expected her to do. Their trio gets along alright, all things considered.

This time, rather than waiting 7 years to address him properly, the Uchiha come to visit and discuss in less than 6 days. His mother is excited, citing,  _ This is how it was always meant to be for me, Obito! _ Obito himself is, as you can guess, not excited at all. They give him a long-ass speech about responsibilities that come with the sharingan, and tell him the first of many precautionary stories to tell Uchiha-dog children about their clan's sacred dojutsu. Even back then, Obito is fairly certain he's at least 3 years too old for these stories to work. He listens anyway, because it's mythology, and Obito likes mythology. They leave, saying "Be careful, and do not be afraid to consult your fellow brothers and sisters of the clan." 

Obito calls bullshit by the time he's 9.

When Obito is 10, he argues with his mother at least once every 2 weeks. She yells at him at least every 4 days. She doesn't want him calling the arguments or the yelling "arguments and yelling", because it "implies I'm on the same level as you. Show some respect!"

He decides to start seriously studying body language, and social cues, and communications. He decides on what parts of him he'll fake, what parts he'll give away, what parts he already has permanently lost, and what parts he'll always keep. By the time Obito is 11, he's been nominated for 1-year-early graduation, and so has Kakashi. Hatake super-genius-but-admittedly-misguided Kakashi's nomination was delayed a year, because the Sandaime was worried about trauma. Kakashi's father had left that year. (He wasn't coming back.) Obito only argues with his mom once every 6 weeks, sometimes this grace period goes even longer. She still yells a lot, but now most of it is just self-righteous ranting about anyone and anything. Obito wonders when his head had started to buzz, and when he started to completely space out no matter what he was doing for half of the time he'd be doing it. He can't focus.

Whatever. He can focus for long enough that he'll survive on the field. (He can focus long enough that only the important people will notice his struggling.)

Obito and Kakashi both turn down their early-graduate nominations.

Now, Obito is 12. Finally, it's time to take graduation exams tomorrow - and be sorted out into a team with a biased jonin instructor who can test him  _ again, in any way they want _ .

_ Whatever. _ Obito says to Rin,  _ I'll just try my best. If that isn't good enough, then that's all it is. I'll just try again.  _ Obito braces himself for graduation. Or maybe he braces himself for the future in general. What's the difference, anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stuff actually starts happening! sorry if the monologues and bracket monologues are kind of long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screw it im posting the second one today just in case i forget tmr

Obito realizes, with muted horror, that he really,  _ really _ wants to cry.

He doesn't cry, at least not immediately.  _ A valiant effort _ , is what he’ll later think when he slows down to, you know, do that -  _ think.  _ But he does cry, anyway. The tears don't quite spill over the edges of his eyes, and instead catch on his lashes and bunches them up awkwardly. It makes his eyes sting, and it makes lights within his line of sight become weird and streaky.

The rest of the walk back home is relatively quiet, up until Obito’s mom decides to speak up.

“Who’s attitude do you think was worse? Mine, or your dad’s?”

Obito pauses, still spiralling a bit from his descriptive monologue about eyelashes. Even after he's processed the question, he stays silent.

“What do you mean?”

Suddenly, Obito feels very, very small again. Detachedly, he realises he might’ve been straight-up shit-faced and bawling his eyes out by now, if this subject was approached a few minutes sooner. He resolves to end this as quickly as possible. After all, he can always fall back on his stupid-ass new study material. Yeah, that'll get him out of it.   
  


“I told him to be more quiet, and he responded even louder than me! That man has no subtly at all, and he isn’t even willing to take my advice!” She says it the way she always does when she gets like this: indignant, and what she probably thinks is a voice pumped full of righteous frustration. 

She isn't wrong, Obito's dad had been a bit pissy when responding. But so had his mom. And she was, notably, making what she said sound a lot better than it actually was. Obito wonders briefly if she’s that delusional, or doing it on purpose. 

_ Maybe people are always a bit delusional when upset.  _ Obito thinks,  _ maybe they're just emotional. _

So, diplomatically, he responds: “Honestly, I thought you were both a bit loud.” He laughs a bit at the end, the one he always subconsciously uses with his family. It’s easy to fake. That's how he decided on it, when he was still unsure of what exact habits he was going to fake, and how he was going to fake them. The laugh makes it sound more lighthearted. It lightens the blow of what basically amounts to “I thought you were both rude.”

_ I think you’re a rude, immature shit, _ Obito thinks,  _ and that dad’s a hypocritical asshole. _

They don't say anything else (to each other, that is, because Obito will always  _ talk, and talk, and talk, _ within his head - where no one can or will reprimand him) until they get home.

When he does get home and (tries his  _ very best not to, it’s a good effort, thank you very much _ ,) dumps his school materials onto his desk, all he thinks about is the fact that at least he can stay away from and completely ignore any taijutsu practice he has for the next 2 days. If he’s particularly irresponsible, it’ll be more. Which, let’s be honest, it’ll definitely be more.

“So your teacher isn’t accommodating extra make-up classes for the one you missed?”

Obito answers, though it would be more accurate to say the answer has been on the tip of his tongue since he thought they’d go home earlier, and have this conversation earlier:

“No, but I took a longer class today. And I’ll be taking a longer class next time, too, so the time will make up for it, anyway.”

“Oh. So, longer classes. You’re fine with that, right? Won’t be too much?”

Obito feels saliva start to pool in his mouth. Suddenly, he feels a need to swallow.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”   
  


_ It’s not fine. It’s definitely not fine. _

Obito swallows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short chapter now that i read back, sorry! again, please dont hesitate to point out any mistakes (include sentence context though, please), because i apparently can't be bothered to properly proofread. and dont have a beta because i have no dedication. thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kakashi is mentioned, finally!

_ This,  _ Obito decides,  _ is not much fun. _

If anyone were to ask what “This” is, he’d explain by making a vague gesture at - well, not much really - just  _ literally everything. _ And, he’d put specific emphasis on gesturing particularly aggressively at Kakashi.

Kakashi is definitely what one would call a genius, and Obito hates him for it. Though, it’s more accurate to describe it as resentment than hate. Because hating implies he's angry with  _ Kakashi _ for his general genius-ness, but it's much more accurate to say he’s just a bit jealous, and resentful, because he isn’t incredible enough to be genius, but not average enough to enjoy his school life properly without feeling vaguely like a failure and worrying about pointless things.

It’s irrational and stupid, and all the things Obito is jealous of Kakashi for not being, and thankful for Rin because she isn’t either. Bile rises in his throat. His saliva pools again, and, for the second time in the last 48 hours while in the presence of others, Obito kind of wants to cry.

This time, he actually doesn’t.

The thing is, Obito knows he isnt stupid either, because Kakashi has clearly demonstrated plenty of times to his  _ squealing fangirls, oh fuck, please make them stop _ , that he only regularily (and willingly) associates with people who are actually pretty clever and won’t wind up with a broken arm if he goes all-out sparring with them. Obito knows this too. He knows he’s not stupid - and his school track-record is pretty great, actually, when Obito slows down enough to think about it.

He is not, however, downright incredible.

Obito has deigned to call this Average-Genius Dilemma, and-slash-or the Genius-but-still-plausibly-so Syndrom. Or, AGD/GS, because acronyms always make him feel a bit closer on the side of Right rather than Wrong. Actually, nowadays, he's mostly come to terms with Kakashi's existence, sort of in the way someone would come to terms with the fact that their legs are permanently broken or something: he's angry, gets angrier, realizes he isn't even sure what he's angry about, and decides to try to stop. It should probably be a bit concerning that Obito is choosing to compare his long-time study/practice buddy (and second best friend, though it isn't official and he'd probably have to pry the title out of said friend's cold, dead hands to get it) to having fractures in his legs and a permanent (physical) crutch.

Whatever. The jerk kind of deserves it anyway.

"Today is an early let-off day, so be sure to use your time to study for your evaluations tomorrow! Early graduation nominees, remember your exams!"

_ Does he, though? It's his coping mechanism, and you've still just barely touched on his family issues.  _ Kakashi's ever-present family issues mostly stemmed from him being dissatisfied with his dad and living alone now - they just had different views. In another time and place, Obito would've sided with Kakashi's father for making the choice that he did, (that's something to think about at a later date, if he remembers) but here, with a war still half-going and with what protocols are taught, always, Obito isn't objectively sure.

"We have two nominees in this class, you know who you are. Resident geniuses, ay? Make us proud! Anyway, you all are dismissed."

He does think that Kakashi should cut his dad some slack, though. because he's, well,  _ dead, for fuck's sake. _ And, in comparison, Obito's problems were more to do with alive people. It's a better fit, alive-people problems are better for Obito, and dead-people problems are more fit for Kakashi. Then again, saying any amount of anxiety-inducing issues is a "Better Fit" for someone is probably not good. His point is, Kakashi deals with loss better than he does emotions. Obito himself prefers emotional issues better, simply because  _ well, at least it's sardonic and entertaining.  _ He will admit, that he thinks there would be more to gain rather than lose if all his stupid clan-mates were just dead. Which sounds horribly inconsiderate to people whose family are actually dead, like Kakashi's, but Obito can't find it in himself to care anymore anyway.

Obito's situation with the clan is… confusing. They had been perfectly content just ignoring his existence for the first seven years, because Obito's parents hadn't been married when they had him, and the Uchiha were _just_ traditional enough that it was something that mattered to them. However, when he'd awakened his sharingan, that sort of changed. Now, he basically had all the baggage and bullshit that had to do with being a clan kid, with essentially none of the benefits. _Grandma's the only damn Uchiha I want to associate with, you entitled window grime._ _Jeez._ And, even though they had only approached him because he awakened the sharingan, it was quite funny how little they actually taught him about it. Most (as in all, except for some legends meant to scare three-year-olds into being wary of overusing the sharingan and to make them way too proud of having it. It's vaguely insulting in the way that having your age misjudged by half would be.) of his knowledge on his sharingan came from his Grandma. Capital G, because it's a term of affection in this case, rather than relationship, like mom and dad.

Needless to say, another walk home that allowed him to have an inner monologue more productive than all of his morning “Uchiha Mandatory Bullshit Time” for the last week combined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, feel free to correct any errors ive made with sentence context so i can find it! thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

As close as he comes to being late, Obito still manages to make it right on time. He's so on time, in fact, that he arrives at the exact same time his new sensei arrives - sunflower-blonde hair, blue eyes that could probably be described as "piercing", looking at him like as if he's a particularly fat and cute beetle-

_ Well shit. _ Obito's brain halts for a split second to process exactly who this is.  _ Great. Yeah. OK. _

"Team 7, right? Then I'm sure you know who I am! You seem like the responsible type. Probably already memorized my profile?"

Obito has not, in fact, looked over Namikaze Minato's profile. He does, however, like listening and gathering information (read: hoarding information like a stalker, because that gives him a very strange sense of comforting weight within himself). So, he knows this guy, Konoha's Yellow Flash, or whatever. Cheesy-ass name, is his opinion. 

Obito nods absently, and slowly walks through the already-opened door. He's very aware, suddenly, that his teammates definitely heard the completely one-sided exchange, if they haven't decided to spontaneously lose their hearing and chronic curiosity.

"Right on time! See,  _ Bakashi _ ? We're going to my house to prepare now."

Kakashi grunts.

"My house is in a better spot,  _ Rin-rin. _ "

"We might not even pass." 

Both Kakashi and Rin turn to look at him, and turn their attention to Namikaze Minato, as if they hadn't even noticed him.  _ Plan is working, thank whatever gods above we actually coordinated that properly without forewarning. _

"Guess you all know each other quite well. Lucky you, only I will have to do introductions."

Obito is suddenly very glad he's sitting in between Kakashi and Rin. A safe distance between Namikaze Minato and him, no matter what.

_ Dandelion-face. Let's go with that, take credit away from him. Calm down. He literally looks like a powdery flower. And like he's more fitting to be a babysitter than a jonin sensei.  _ Then,  _ wait, that's even scarier. Didn't he kill a whole army in a "flash of yellow"? Oh no. Ohhhh no. _ Obito feels nervous again, which is… not good.

In the end, they go through casual introductions, and Dandelion-face tells them to meet at training ground number-he'll-ask-Rin-about-later. What he catches on to is that they're getting tested again. Probably to make sure they're up to Dandelion-face's standards. He doesn't seem like the type to test for potential, or power, or whatever (he seems more like the type to be testing for a very specific trait, or a few very specific traits, Kaka-obi-rin agree on this), and even if he is, there's enough talent to go around in this group that it's a wonder they managed to get put into the same team together. Obito wonders if this is because teachers only saw his bickering with Kakashi, or only saw Rin lecturing Kakashi, or only saw the fact that Obito's fuck-all-I'm-pessimistic attitude gets better around anyone out of the two, and decided to put them on this team. Knowing their teachers, any of these things would be incriminating evidence to them that they'd make a good team and should be stuffed together. Oh well, it works to their benefit.

  
  
  


The next day, Obito is already at the meeting training ground at five, exactly three hours too early. He couldn't sleep, probably from some anxiety at the back of his head that he wasn't equipped with the proper amounts of energy to deal with. Now, after spending the first half an hour of his morning thinking over it and such within his head, he manages to wrestle whatever is making his head feel light and his cheeks feel cold. As his conclusion fully comes through while Obito stretches, a low, stabilizing hum settles itself beneath his skin. The type of calm that makes people think you've reached enlightenment or something, until they realize that Obito only uses this calm to expand his capacity for whatever shit he anticipates to happen for the next few hours. 

At six thirty (or maybe a bit more than that) Kakashi shows up. He's early by an hour and a half - just long enough that it could also be anxiety-induced insomnia, but just short enough that it could just be he wanted extra time to prepare. They exchange quips and good-mornings and then fall quiet as Kakashi stretches and Obito observes and makes documentations about features of this specific training ground.

"We've agreed on working as a team, right? No matter the circumstances?" 

Kakashi looks at him like he's asked the world's most answer-obvious question. It floods him with relief he hadn't even realized he needed.

"Fail together, win together, cry together. Has your memory gotten  _ even worse, _ Obito?"

Kakashi's voice is completely flat, but he pitches his voice higher for that last sentence for the dramatic effect of his sarcastic incredulity. If Obito didn't know better, he'd think Kakashi was being serious - he knows about his struggling-at-best, handicap-at worst memory. They're working on Kakashi's delivery of sarcasm, and at the very least, they've managed to get him to change his tone when being sarcastic.

Rin arrives at six fifty-eight, just 2 minutes before the time they'd agreed to arrive at: seven - an hour before Namikaze  _ supposedly _ will show up. They don't even bother with pleasantries. When Kakashi sees Rin coming, he finishes up his stretches and stands up straight. Obito daintily finishes up his last few (compulsive) notes, and puts the fabric-bound notepad back into his little ninja pouch.

"Alright boys," Rin snickers, "Let's kick some Dandelions! Great name for a S-rank flee-on-sight bingo-book-ed nin, Obi-kun." 

Rin's easygoing teasing makes him feel more at ease, too. Though really, Rin could've lectured him and that probably would've worked, considering he found comfort in  _ Kakashi's _ deadpan disappointment. And with that, their conversation gets going. (Obito feels his buzzing take a backseat to his thinking. Probably out of excitement, because anxiety tends to make it worse, makes him twitchy and hyper energized.)

Namikaze Minato drops in exactly an hour later, right on time. Though, Rin says he hadn't even been hiding his chakra signature, and has been  _ lurking in the tree to your five o'clock _ , _ far side of the training ground. _ Obito had briefly considered flaring chakra into his sharingan to confirm, but that would've given away their knowledge of their instructor's presence, and since they didn't know how much of an advantage would be needed for this test, well… they'll just have to take any advantages they can get. Namikaze arrives in front of their rag-tag group of freshly-graduated genin, and explains to them something about acquiring the bells secured at his waist to pass. He drops the bomb on them in a way that would give Fugaku’s “Great Responsibilities of Uchiha-dogs” speech a run for its money: there are only two bells, and someone is guaranteed to fail. Their team, as Obito expected, completely discards that information.  _ Fail together, win together, cry together. Ride or die, assholes. _ Instead, they opt to focus on what plan they’re going with, and what traps they’ve already set up or are going to be needed, and what they’re going to do if the first 2 plans they come up with don’t have the proper circumstances to be executed. Namikaze Minato blows the whistle on them (figuratively), and tells them the test has begun.

They scatter in different directions to do what they need to, with an agreement to meet up once they’re done their single-person preparations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its snowing where i am and i am NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its valentines day or something? who knows. (whos cares)
> 
> action finally happens! genin team formation! yeah!

Obito dashes through the outskirting forest, heading towards the small creek he had scouted when he first arrived. He needs to get water so they can waterlog explosive tags - something he also needs to acquire. Obito is fairly certain he can just carve the exploding seals into the set places, which, thank Kami for chakra marking and sharingan, right?

On the other side of the forest, Rin needs to find and mark all the patches of quicksand near the swampy area she’s covering. Traps had to be set up in specific places  _ without _ quicksand, as people were practically guaranteed to choose to walk on patches of dry land - especially ninja with the clean ability to recognize leg-swallowing soft sand with just a glance.

And, in the middle of the field, Kakashi is having a semi-standoff with their assigned jonin instructor. Kakashi has the most hands-on - and ironically most secrecy-dependent - job of collecting as much information about Namikaze Minato’s fighting techniques, a general evaluation on how far he’ll go (AKA how easy he’s going on them), what he has in his deceptively small ninja pouch, and how much he already knows about their team. All of this has to be done to maximum efficiency, and all while Namikaze doesn’t notice. His only advantage is that his student profile says that he’s independent and a super-genius, so the jonin will probably expect him to be arrogant enough to charge at him alone.

Obito will admit, Kakashi probably has the least straightforward job out of all of them. Originally, Obito could’ve done the evaluation/info-gather job, too, but… well, Kakashi wanted to test the jutsu they’ve helped him work on for the last two months, and Obito is arguably more resourceful when it comes to weirdly specific jobs. Just as he’s starting to stuff the soaked cotton pieces of his inside shirt into a small jar, the loud sound of birds tweeting fills the air. 

_ Ah,  _ Obito thinks,  _ guess it’s time to drag Kakashi out of there, ay? _ Obito activates his sharingan, and to no surprise, Kakashi is running at their Maybe-soon-to-be sensei with a sharp, crackling blade of blue chakra emitting from his arm. He starts running in their direction, deactivating his eyes when he’s certain Kakashi won’t spontaneously disappear or something, and jumps into a nearby tree. He watches as Kakashi makes his dive at Namikaze, and despite not having his sharingan, recognizes when the kunai is being prepared for his friend’s throat.

Obito jumps down. As he reaches out to grab ahold of the backstrap of Kakashi’s (still unnecessary?) leather support straps, his timing is perfect, and he  _ pulls _ , just fast enough that the kunai doesn't touch his neck in the clear checkmate that was going to happen. Obito makes eye contact, and just to be a piece of shit about it, he smiles.

Then, he turns in the direction of where Rin should be by now, and runs.

  
  
  


Rin is, thankfully, exactly where they planned for her to be. Which, great, except it makes him more paranoid. Things going well in Uchiha Obito’s life is quite rare - usually, things are just good enough that they aren't horrible. Or they’re just horrible. Obito can count the major “Good Things” that have happened to him on one hand: meeting Rin, approaching Kakashi alone the second time, finding out that Uchiha Shisui exists (there’s still hope for the Dogs after all), and learning to be a diplomatic-pacifist type.

Anyway, he meets up with Rin, pulling along Kakashi for the sort-of shunshin. Rin almost bursts out laughing when she sees Obito carrying Kakashi by his collar like a misbehaving puppy, and he’s impressed that she immediately smothers it. 

“Alright,” Rin whispers, completely deadpan from the effort of swallowing her amusement, 

“I’ve decided on spots for you to put down exploding seals, or carve them in. Whatever the plan is. Start doing that. Please.” 

So, Obito does. He follows Rin out, still dragging along Kakashi, and she points out the spots and specific areas to put tags on traps she’s already laid out. Rin manages to do all of this silently - which, even if they agreed on this, is still impressive. Obito is overcome with the sense that, even if he doesn’t feel  _ romantic _ attraction to her, he still feels some sort of attraction that’s enough to make him decide he would totally marry her with no complaints. He probably wouldn’t actively try to marry her, but he  _ would, gladly, _ if he needed to or something. 

Obito gets started on carving seals before he can get too distracted by how cool Rin is and how lucky he is to have her. Because that’s sappy, and they have a sensei to high-key assault and rob. Besides, Rin probably needs to scold Kakashi for using a jutsu that they literally  _ just _ finished helping him develop. And to remind him of his part in their plan, of course.

The seals are done fairly fast, and Rin supervises Kakashi and Obito as they put traps up. Partly so she can tell them what to do better, partly because Obito is really efficient when he’s constantly reminded of what he’s doing (and so is Kakashi, when he can just copy what someone else is doing), and partly because Rin can keep a metaphorical eye out for their sensei via sensor-nin techniques. They’re fairly certain Namikaze will at least give them the leeway of not completely hiding his chakra, elite-nin-that’s-almost-a-decade-older-than-them-style.

And once they’re done, the only thing left to do is to lead him in. 

Which is Obito’s job. Well, Obito hasn’t messed up yet, so hopefully it isn’t all downhill from here.

  
  
  


Obito runs out of the woods, a fair distance away from the spot where their traps are set up, in the approximate spot he would’ve run into when he’d taken Kakashi by his leather straps and quite literally booked it out of there.  _ Deception 101. _

Then, he basically throws himself at Namikaze Minato, in a way that’s strangely reminiscent of how Kakashi barreled into Namikaze. Just with less grace, that is somehow made up for by his Barbarian Scream of Passion. He’d been working on that with Gai for months before, and he’s glad it sounds suitably crude and filled with  _ Energy from the Springtime of Youth! _

Namikaze dodges at the last second, but Obito lands on the ground with a clean  _ thump _ . Suck it, Kakashi, he  _ can _ do a ninja-landing. Ha. The older, blonde man jumps back towards the direction of the traps because of his dodge.  _ Good. _ Obito pivots on the spot, and aims a punch square at Namikaze’s chest, because for fuck’s sake he’s really tall and Obito can’t reach any higher than that comfortably. It pushes the jonin back another foot, and yet another, as Obito deliberately lengthens his downward swing. Obito continues to push, and push, and push, over and over like that, until they eventually get into the recognizably swampy area Rin had started off in. Obito is locked in a tense stand-off. Or, as tense as it could be, with how Namikaze still looked at him with the amused curiosity you’d use to observe a shiny, green beetle. 

He feels the signal more than he sees it, and flickers his eyes to the top right corner of his vision to catch a blur of white. Obito prepares his legs to jump, and sees Namikaze Minato glance at this action, and mimic it. They both jump back at the same time, but the exploding tag with a trigger-based blow-trap attached to it is thrown to the position Namikaze is in now that he’s jumped back. No more amusement, now Obito’s the one who’s amused. The subtle body language is a minor deception, but it is much more difficult, and one that only a selective niche of genin, and even chunin, bother to learn and practice. The exploding tag goes off inches from Namikaze’s face, and actually catches him mid-shunshin (since the kunai of the tag was thrown before they jumped back, Obito cannot stress enough the fact that they  _ predicted a jonin war hero’s move) _ \- the net descends on him, and it sets off a chain of other traps, causing a gap in Namikaze’s movements that is just long enough that Obito’s activated sharingan can catch onto its spots of weakness.

The kid reaches out to grab the bells. To Minato’s surprise, Uchiha Obito actually reaches them. He doesn't look quite triumphant, and as he looks down with his sharingan-

" _ Fuck. _ " 

Minato chuckles, then, as he grabs the kid by his jacket and flips him into the tree to his right. Yeah, Minato can let his swearing go, considering that he probably thinks this means his team failed, since he notices he fell for the old genjutsu-ed objects trick, as the illusion fades away to show two large pebbles. Of course, that isn't true. Minato was looking for teamwork - because he can teach any ninja the techniques to be a monster, but he  _ can't _ teach team-mentality. Obito's back hits the wide expanse of tree trunk Minato aimed him at, and is officially cornered. 

"So, Obito-kun, how about you tell me a bit about yourself?"

Said boy blinks, and tries to pull a kunai on him. It's a good attempt, but Minato gently pulls the weapon out of Obito's grasp. Obito freezes, hands and arms suspended. He looks at Minato warily.

"Because we've lost, or something?"

Minato chuckles again,

"Sure!" he  _ chirps, _ "If that'll get you to talk, think whatever you'd like."

"But we haven't lost. We're going to get those bells. And we'll do it so well,  _ you'll have to pass all three of us _ ."

_ Come on, _ Obito thinks,  _ just a little more. Reel him in just a little more… _

"Oh? Really? Even though you've been cornered, and your friends are nowhere to be seen?"

_ I just need to gather a little more chakra. Just a little more. _

"Don't underestimate us, of course we have a backup plan!" Obito injects  _ just the right amount _ of hesitation into his voice, and it has the intended effect. Minato looks impressed, but amused. Obito would feel annoyed (Namikaze Minato has been looking amused at  _ anything _ he does, all day), except this is exactly what he wants.  _ Still got it. Guess practicing lying to my parents all the time does help. _

Minato chuckles again. He seems to be doing that a lot with this kid.

"Well, I'll be excited to hear about it soon, becau-"

Obito claps his already-suspended hands together, where they're almost so close to Namikaze's vest that he's touching it, and releases all the chakra he's been rushing into his hands all at once. The resulting clap of energy is just enough to send Minato falling back from his crouched position, and pushes Obito back, too. Since Obito's back is already against a tree, though, the momentum is cut off. In that moment, as the blonde man falls back, Kakashi jumps out of the (rather tall) bush he had been hiding in and all but lunges for the two bells at Minato's waist. He grabs them and immediately jumps back, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as possible.  _ Just as they planned, probably _ . They had not, however, planned for Minato to immediately reach for the bells again. Kakashi thinks fast enough to flick the bells up in a rushed throw (Obito will always praise the gods above for Kakashi’s reflexes), and Rin catches on to their need for assistance fast enough to be there, right behind Kakashi, descending from another tree like a messenger from Kami, and grabs the bells.

Namikaze falls flat on his chest, looking a bit dazed, as Rin passes the bells right over his head and right into Obito's hands. He activates his sharingan again.

"Yep!"

Obito exclaims, still high off of the adrenalin from executing the steps of the ambush bit in their plan in quick succession. 

"These are the real bells!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading? idk what am i supposed to say at the end of these help


	6. Kakashi's Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaand sort of short Kakashi chapter! I'm actually writing these as i go now, with a rough plot in mind, so. slow updates.

And like that, Kakashi realizes, yet another strangely well-coordinated plan pans out surprisingly smoothly. If he tries to think too hard on how their group works so well, it pulls him out of the excitement and pride that sweeps him up whenever they succeed. 

He’ll have plenty of time to think about it another day. For today, they’ll celebrate, and Kakashi will be reminded again of why the team comes first, even if the village teaches otherwise. Kakashi isn’t sure what state-of-mind he’d be in if Obito hadn’t decided to introduce him to Rin, and if Rin hadn’t decided they’d both cling to him and drag him out of himself no matter how far or how deep he falls. 

Minato-sensei tells them to rest up and eat healthy tonight - and that they'll have D-ranks to run the next day. He's smiling the whole time, Kakashi notices. Evidently, Obito does too, because the second their sensei is out of sight and they start walking home together, he blurts out, "He's very bold and brave, but very  stupid. "

Kakashi turns to Obito for him to elaborate, and so does Rin, as they always do, because Obito's thoughts seem to run on a motor. He's very good at controlling it, except for when he isn't.

"What a bold but  stupid decision, having hope. I mean seriously."

Rin just laughs a bit at him, and Obito's mouth clicks shut. His face morphs into one of horror, as per usual, like he just managed to wrangle control of his mouth back after having to take a backseat listening to whatever  Nonsensical nonsense I'm spewing again. Oh my god Rin, please stop laughing, control me next time for fuck's sake.

Kakashi finds that Obito is the type of charming that you only come to appreciate when you stick around long enough. He isn't naturally magnetic, but he can be your brightest person, if you insist and stay around. Which is what both Kakashi and Rin did, and he thinks it's safe to say neither of them would give him up for any of their other classmates. Kaka-obi-rin can be described, at best, as a codependency. At worst, it could be described as over attachment with a side of denial. Obito would probably end that sentence with  or something . 

Rin is the person you’d talk to if you need to face your problems, because as much as Obito is resourceful, he barely even seems to know what he himself is feeling. And then Obito is the person you go to if you want to get away from something, and just listen, because it has always been oh-so-easy to just get wrapped up in Obito’s head that moves almost too fast and runs almost six miles a minute on pure adrenaline. In this sense, Obito and Rin are a perfect match as friends and close confidants. More than once, Kakashi thinks he doesn’t fit cleanly enough into their dynamic to stay - and Obito and Rin tell him to talk and he  does, but then they look at him as if he’s saying something he’s said a thousand times, as if they still have no clue why he thinks it, but they’re glad he at least talked about it.

Which is oddly specific. Fun.

Sometimes, Kakashi wonders how so many smart people can be so  stupid . Like when Obito had reported back to him what Kakashi told Obito to tell his mom, as an experiment. What Obito told his mother isn't important in this situation, it's what Obito's mother had responded with: "People with mental health problems have damaged psyches. Lunatics, crazy, all of them."

Or, like how Kakashi's own father had chosen to save his teammates instead of his mission. And then let their words of disdain get to him. Kakashi isn't sure if his father was more stupid for saving people who put the mission before their comrades without hesitation, or if he's more stupid for letting the subsequent backlash get to his head.

Kakashi knows, somewhere beneath the trauma, that he won't understand until he experiences that ostracizing for himself. And then Obito would say he's a kid too, and that kids are irrational, and that's ok. Rin would back Obito up and say that more than that, he  deserved  to be irrational. As long as he knew he was, as long as he cared for himself, and as long as he was ok with still being in the process of growing up. Growing pains, they'll say together someday, laughing at their past struggles as a tinge of nostalgia threatens to clog them up. 

We are young. We are stupid. We fail together, win together, cry together.  In his head, Kakashi adds "die together", too. Because Kakashi would rather die first in their group than last. And he'd prefer them all to die at the same time, if he had a choice. A step in the right direction, Kaka-obi-rin would agree, because at least he's not down-right suicidal.

And if he were, he'd tell Obito and Rin first. Because they'll die together. But they'd rather live together.

Or something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and please correct any mistakes ive made (with context) in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> i totally just speedran a whole character backstory in one chapter oops
> 
> oh god forbid, i have dialogue in my next chapter, and its horrible. i do have a few chapters already backed up, so ill probably post one of those everyday until i start having to actually write them.
> 
> also, if you notice a mistake, please point it out to me! dont just say the word though, im not psychic enough to know which "you're" i wrote as "your". and leaving a comment would be really cool, ive never written a fic but ill be vomiting them out now :)
> 
> ok im rambling ill stop


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